Rebirth on the Sarging Front

I was out of the “game” per say for a while. I had to move to Hollywood where everything was different - I was out of my comfort zone and I had lost connections with all of the awesome people I worked the last 12 months to build. I had a great network of close friends - many of them women.

In some instances, I’d go out with me and 4 girls. I got in everywhere, people wanted to know me. I didn’t care what the outcome was of any night either, and most cases I’d be meeting new women in the process. I always introduced the new ladies to the old ones and claim one was my sister - I think one of them even liked that. It was fun. I even started writing this blog because I felt, at the time, my skills and abilities were strong to help other guys struggling socially.

Fast forward 4 months - I’m in Hollywood competing with actors, celebrities, and people who have real money. I’m also in the “sarge” capitol of the free world as those of us within this circle of knowledge acknowledge that the source of this whole operation originated in Hollywood.  Things are harder here and the game you run is different.

I gave up completely in the game and while I am NOT sitting here telling you I am an AFC or I sit home alone on the weekend crying myself to sleep, far from it, but I got burnt out of emotionally going out and trying. Girls in LA flake a LOT. It’s a grinding experience to get numbers and in my opinion the whole operation should be a fun endeavor or why try it in the first place?

My rebirth came when I was in Las Vegas for my birthday - I enjoyed the company of my friends and a girl I hold personally, very high on my chart of cool people (That is of course, if this chart were real). I spent the whole weekend hanging out with a really beautiful, cool girl that can hold a conversation, make me laugh, talk dirty, and buy me drinks restores some of the faith I had lost in women (And people) having moved to the land of the fake and fake-beautiful.

Another thing I should tell you is that one particular evening before going out I was hanging out in the casino and I was just casually talking to a dealer - a legit “10″ in her early 20’s with enormous fake boobs 2 inches below her chin. This girl could have been in porn and I ran this natural game on her and it just happened so easily I was amazed because she gets hit on 100x+ a day by guys with way more loot than I and hell - even better looking ones too.

Here’s how I worked my game with the dealer

> Opened with a warm smile, a “Hey” how are you? Then a non-reactive body language, but alpha.

> Threw $100 bucks down on the table to start playing ($100 is nothing in Las Vegas - I wasn’t impressing her here with this) but then she casually asked me how my weekend was going (Normal for dealers to do, this is nothing special)

> I replied back “Oh I’m here celebrating my birthday, and I came out to hang out with this girl I met about 7 months ago out here (Then I showed the pictures of us on my iPhone) and I asked her ‘have you ever really liked someone without knowing it wouldn’t realistically happen?’” and I swear people - she was like, mine, right then and there. She melted.

> Her bitch shield dropped because she knew I wasn’t going to hit on her or be a typical guy because it was obvious I was pre-selected by another hottie and was invested in that. We started talking between hands about the dealer’s boyfriend breaking up with her (She shared a similar situation), and when I was winning hands she was high-fiving me (IOI). For those of you who gamble - how often does that occurrence happen? The answer is rarely, we’re talking lunar eclipse rare.

> I caught the dealer checking me out each hand with her eyes on mine, and when new people came up to play they didn’t exist, her attention as just on me - asking me where I’m from, what I do, where I’m staying, etc. These were not polite questions - these were her trying to make me qualify and find out if I’m boyfriend material. My body language was also very alpha- taking up 2 seats and being non-reactive to the situation around me (Other 1/2 naked girls walking by).

> Each reply implied high value; I run my own business, I am staying at a very nice hotel, I’m going to this club tonight and doing x with y, etc.

> She was interested and I could have walked away with her number quite easily if I had just asked. Why didn’t I? Good question, I suppose I just wanted to see if I still had it in me. That my friends, I do.

I’m going to try a few things in the next month to revamp my game here, because there’s just no excuse for the lack of magic in my life right now. Field reports shall follow with more advanced game.

My friend, Ted, as a new fashion blog up at: http://www.style-habits.com/blog/

Hot chicks in Vegas

Hot chicks in Vegas

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“Pick up” as of July 13th, 2008

Are we seriously still discussing this social dynamics and interaction as “pick up” or have we moved past that? I’m not active in the “community” by any means, but I am looking through the last 4-5 months of my rambling and I just think that it’s pure cheese, but that’s fine and I suppose a lot of writers look back on their early works and think the same.

I was just spilling info on this blog without giving it much thought and what I thought worked at that time, and I suppose some it was good and some of the readers out there took some positives away. Let me know what you guys think by leaving a comment or two regarding my statements.

I can pretty much summarize what this whole blog is in 1 sentence; wear clothes that fit you and are flattering, take care of yourself (Mentally, physically, and socially), and don’t be a fucking idiot around strangers.

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Be True to Yourself

A few things have jumped into my head as I contemplated the longevity of this website. First, I feel that I am no longer in any sort of “learning process” anymore when interacting with women. Young, old, ugly, hot -  it’s all the same. It’s all being comfortable with yourself, and letting them talk about themselves and than engage in active listening. Build rapport and be yourself.

I learn more and more each day about people in general (Why they do things, what they are hiding, and their small character tags that truly make them unique) and the interaction becomes more fluid and casual, but when I digress into thinking about like “canned openers” or wearing stupid clothing to get women to look at me - I laugh. Come on! Were we at that point once when we brought magic tricks and wore Halloween costumes to bars to make women talk to us?

I was talking to a coworker today about what I liked about women (Back dimples are so cute!) and what I like when we’re intimate. I said one thing I love is when we’re making love and shes holding onto my forearms and without notice her grip becomes tighter and tighter as she’s nearing and afterward I’m left with tiny marks on my arms from her nails accidentally digging in.

Who likes that, seriously? I love it. And the fact that I love it means I am comfortable enough in myself and what I do to freely admit that.. So the next time your in a bar and a woman asks you if you like something and you don’t, just come right out with it and say you hate it (But do so with a smile).

Confidence is sexy.

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Ups and Downs

Last weekend I went out and closed, with enthusiasm, a very pretty brunette who seemed to be very into me. We scene changed for an immediate date, I got good kino, and I was seconds away from kiss closing when an incident happened at the club (Lights came on and her friends ‘popped in’ on us in the booth) so I couldn’t do it just then - but that’s fine, things happen.

Fast forward to next week, and I’ve been keeping her “warm” sort to speak by sending texts every other day with implied value and just keeping things casual, fun, and flurty. We made tentative plans to get martinis Saturday night and then meet up with either her friends or mine at the happening nightspot in our town.

What happened was around 4 pm on Saturday was I was cleaning up the house, I got a text from her that read “Sorry to flake, but going to the fair with my roommates, and I can’t miss this” so I simply took that as a sincere message and didn’t think twice. I called my good buddy, and we went out to a different bar at a different scene and did just fine opening and closing, but the flaking date was sort of in the back of my mind. Why did she do this?

I ended up spending the night with my ‘girl-friend’ whom I’m not really dating but just kind of sleeping over/making out/texting pretty consistently. She knows I’m seeing other people and I know she’s texting her ex, we’re both cool with the arrangement we have with one another.

I spent the morning surfing and I send flake girl a text when I’m at home and showered up asking her how the fair was and if she won a big stuffed animal and no reply. I’ve been dealt a mighty chink in the PUA armor, I WAS DENIED!

There’s a few ways to interpret this. One of them is to retrace my steps and see where I went wrong or another is to say “ha ha, F her” and move on. Ironically, I am moving in a week so I will be leaving the Southern Tip of California for the bright lights of Tinseltown and it stands to reason it’s time to jump ship with her. Another life lesson is you will not, nor can you, win them all. You are going to get denied, you are going to go on 1 date with a girl and not call her back, and you are going to lose interest in someone 24 hours after you’ve met them.

This is life and this is the ups and downs of being on the ‘dating scene’ and the fast-paced Western Culture style of dating. Everything is hit and miss, and this is indeed friends, a numbers game.

Big tips:

  • Build up your “roster” of girls who are good friends and hang out with them in clubs and bars and use them as wings. Hanging out with a group of women (4-5) with 1-2 guys is a recipe for a good time anywhere you go as you’ll be receiving a lot of attention.
  • Think about updating or changing your look every 2-3 months by experimenting with different haircuts, styles, and clothing. Just see how this effects your ‘game’ and the way you interact with others. Don’t let yourself get stale. Try peacocking by wearing guy-liner or something you’d never do.
  • Learn new things daily so that you are interesting and can communicate to people on a variety of topics.
  • If you have a good opener or two or a very good story DMV-ing, keep using it. Think of a comedian, each time they go on stage it’s the same material for a few weeks/months, but they themselves are just at a different venue in a different city. My point being, if your killing it with a routine or story keep using it but feel free to change it slightly for fun.
  • If/when things go wrong, laugh it off. Don’t worry about what other people think of you because they are too busy worrying about themselves.

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How to be a Good Wingman - Part 1

I came to the realization that who you hang out with, and how your friends are dressed, and how your friends interact with your “target’s” group/set will determine your immediate outcome and ability to close.

Let’s take scenario 1: Your at a bar / club with 2 friends who are PUA’s and are peacocking tastefully and can interact with your target and her friends and build you up by way of telling funny stories and/or events. Some of the strengths of the fellow PUAs who are tall/good looking/tastefully dressed are:

  • They can interact with her friends (Even if they are not attractive) and make them feel comfortable and at ease about talking to new friends
  • They can make your target and her friends laugh (Laughter is key in building comfort and the more they are smiling the better off you are)
  • Their timing is good (They know when to leave you alone with your target and do not hover when you and your target are engaged in good conversation or your going in for the kiss close)
  • They pay attention to IOI’s and know when to proceed or back off with kino and escalation with her friends, and when your target and her friends go to the bathroom they can give you immediate feedback or reinforce positives
  • They tell proven stories of value (Comical or fun/factual)
  • They help build you up by whatever means possible
  • They are smiling, having fun, and doing random spontaneous things! (Examples: Let’s bounce to another bar/club, Are you hungry, because I know this great diner 2 blocks over where we can…, Anyone up for some midnight bowling?, You want to try this new shot I had last week at…”) the possibilities are endless. Don’t be boring!

Let’s take scenario 2: Your at a bar / club with 2 friends who are AFCs and are dressed like everyone else in the bar and can’t interact with your target and don’t know what to say to her friends and fall into traps of making fun of others to build themselves up or calling guys who are peacocking “gay” out of their own insecurities. How will hanging out with AFCs hurt you?

  • They hover without saying anything, and create a general sense of discomfort
  • They offer stories of low-value and often resort to making fun of other people to make themselves look better (Terrible turn off)
  • They are wearing unfashionable clothes and look like every other guy in the bar. They again, make fun of guys who are peacoking tastefully
  • They don’t know what to say to her friends or do not want to be seen talking to a “fat chick” or a friend of her who may not be as attractive. They don’t value anyone’s friendship.
  • They bring you down by being associated with them.

Part II of how to be a good wingman coming soon!

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    How has your game changed?

    It’s weird how my game has changed the last few months.

    • Month 1 I remember just trying to get comfortable with approaching strangers, working on my confidence and looking people in the eye when speaking to them (Something I NEVER did before because of my acne problem as a kid - part of the reason why I was so shy and insecure). I just wanted to practice conversation and just get better at using observation to detect signals of interest (IOI’s).
    • Month 2 Started stepping up my game on the dating scene (Day 2 and 3 of hanging out with her, practicing kino-ing and “closing” the deals), and I really took a close look at my wardrobe and identifying what I needed to buy to get more “hip” (E.g., NO MORE OLD NAVY). Wow, a tailor actually does make my clothes look 100% better and more fitted! Dropped a few hundred per week on trendy threads.
    • Month 3 Closing left and right, kind of had a girlfriend for a few weeks but she moved away. I was working out like crazy and soaking up some sun on Friday afternoon so I look refreshed and fun for the weekend (Sounds vein, I know, but competition is tough out here in SoCal). I was feeling really happy as a person as I was making new friends left and right (Best thing of all about this whole “game” process is inner confidence), and I had a lot of opportunities I wouldn’t have had before when I was shy and insecure (Business related as well!). I would say that this month is when I really started to turn corners.
    • Month 4 Got a little burned out from the scene and the whole feeling like I HAD to go out and sarge every weekend and I started to put pressure on myself when I wasn’t closing. I ended up taking a few weeks off and was just burnt out of the bar scene and nightclub smoke & neon. I kept working out and decided to focus on my business ventures, and didn’t go out for almost an entire month. Lost a little bit of touch with my new friends.
    • Month 5 The first two weeks “back” I found my groove and I was number closing 2-3 girls a night, with solid connections. I’d text them 2 days later and tell them that I’m glad we’re just “friends” and was looking forward to hanging out at the mall or doing Starbucks with them sometime. I was also adding 3-4+ girls per week from random bars, stores, and clubs to my friend list on Myspace (More on this later). Girls couldn’t figure me out and I loved that. Nothing better than hanging out with a group of hot chicks who know your not trying to “bang” them, the opportunities for being seen and getting into bars/clubs and just being very smooth with a group of hot wings are endless. Trust me.
    • Month 6 and beyond I’ve dropped close to 45 lbs and I am pretty much shredded, and by summer I’ll be “Fight Club” ripped at 5-6% body fat (I’m 8% now). I can bench/squat/deadlift more than ever before and I eat 4 chicken breasts per day and people laugh when they see me walking around with shaker bottles full of protein drinks. My energy and outlook on life is very bright because I’m feeding my body good foods and staying very active. I get 4-5 texts an hour form various girls, each with something different to offer. I don’t even use openers anymore because women approach me, or I can just see right through them waiting for me to say anything to them. Anything. When you are ultra confident, in good shape, and dressed well (Not “Try to hard” dressed up but just very cool and collected), your money. Inner confidence and non-neediness is the key to this whole thing.

    But as for my love life, I have a few in the mix right now but nothing serious. It’s funny because I’ve actually met a few girls from myspace (Without trying to meet them in mind, but we just had similar friends/interests, etc and it just happened and they are actually really cool people). My phone lights up with “dirty” texts from my past hookups (That I’ve managed to parlay into good friends) and nothing is funnier then getting out of a meeting and seeing my phone beeping with 5 missed texts each from a different girl-friend about something off the wall (Fantasy, invites, and weekend ideas).

    I have my flurty texts from the more reserved and shy girls that are just fun and I have girls I still talk to from all over the country from my travels, and a few are planning trips to see me soon. I want to make a note right here that a lot of these girls I do nothing more than just kiss, I’m not smutting around town. I’ve never operated this production under the pretense of just “scoring” I wanted better connections, more options, and a better quality of life and those were my goals. I also think that by just befriending all of these women my life has improved greatly too as you are introduced to more and more people and you have a better shot at finding your dream girl.

    The beautiful thing is my confidence is sky high and I could care less about hooking up, making out, or even getting girls numbers because if it is bound to happen, then I just let it happen. Never do I force anything and I’m just hanging out. Also note that I was able to make all these new connections and turn all of these corners without a full time job (I was laid off), furniture in my house (Roommate moved out), or even a Television. Another key is to be a genuine person and you’ll succeed in this I tell you that openly. Don’t fake it!

    Email me (Sdromeo @ gmail) with any questions/coaching inquiries or just comments. I run a pretty mean natural game and I have killer text/aol messenger game as I’m pretty far along in this process (I’m also very good at reading body language) and I can help if your stuck. Seriously. Here’s me in Vegas with 3 women last weekend (Someone requested I post more pictures).

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    Ides of March

    Beware the ides of March! Well, not really, did anyone get that reference? Things for me have been going very well on the “sarging” front and the reason why I’ve been lax on the updating is because I had a big freelance project I needed to finish and I was also consumed with interviewing and finding employment. While a few of those items have taken care of themselves, on to the reason your here: women.

    • Last weekend I found myself in a cabana with two hot girls, making out with both by simply being very cool and collective. I met them at the bar by just looking at them, smiling, and saying “What” and I let them say something, then I started thread-spinning.  One of the major things I realized is that you don’t have to say to much at first, let your positive body language dictate your intentions.
    • One of the things you should be doing (Pending you’ve been reading this blog for a while now and we’re not afraid of opening sets, we’re detached from the outcome either way, and we are confident within ourselves, right?) is paying attention to your style. You don’t have to be Mr. GQ but you should buy clothes that fit you and set you apart. Don’t be one of the button up dudes in the douschebag army. Think about other options; vests, blazers, layers and unique items to set you apart.
    • Get into shape already. In the last 4 months of my life though no fault of my own; I’ve lost my job, apartment, television, roommate, and 90% of the furniture in my house. Has this stopped me from pulling girls? Hell no, in fact my confidence is at an all time high because each day that goes by I’m leaner, stronger, and I carry myself with a sense of importance. While I right my unfortunate events, I continue to workout and dress like I own the place.
    • Don’t put yourself on a time crunch when you go out (Say, DON’T internally think that you have to open 5 sets by 12 AM and go home with someone by 1:30 AM). Three weeks ago we (My friends and I) ran into a group of girls at the pizza shop on the walk home from the bar, and as it turns out they were staying in the same apartment complex as us! The after party was at their place and I ended up with two girls in my bed! Key take away is not to stress details or a time clock when you go out, let things happen on their own account.

    • One of the best openers I’ve been using lately is just to catch an attractive girl looking at me, then I meet her look with a smile, then I laugh slightly and just say “What do you want, Miss?” I do so with a sense of humor and a light hearted tone so that she knows I’m not serious, but this works 90% of the time in the right setting. From there I go right into my first question that always kills it - “What are we celebrating tonight?”

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    Some brief thoughts on Attraction

    I love studying people, and besides gaining more friends, the number one reason why I got into this community of “Pick up Artists” is to understand WHY people (Mostly women but men too) do the things that they do. I’m a psychology addict and I’m one of those people who always needs to have an answer to reason to something or I just can’t let it go.

    • Are you dating a girl now who is extremely sarcastic? Chances are she’s been hurt in the past or somewhat insecure. A very interesting article on Psychologytoday.com stated this: Though they may not be aware of it, sarcasm is their means of indirectly expressing aggression toward others and insecurity about themselves. Source Very interesting. Put that one in your back pocket for later.
    • How do women define physical attractiveness in males? Interestingly enough, it’s a “V” shaped torso (Broad shoulders tapering in to a small waist) Right off Wiki: Consistently, men with a waist-to-shoulder ratio of 0.75 or lower are viewed as considerably more attractive than men with more even waists and shoulders. Source
    • Why does she give you her number but not answer when you call or flake out?
      • Most of the time it’s common for a woman to give a number out to “get rid” of a guy. Most women are conditioned to think that once a guy gets a girls number, the hunt sort to speak is over, and he’ll return to his friends. In short - get this guy out of here!
      • She changes her mind. Have YOU ever been excited about meeting someone but then the next day or two after decided “Well, she’s cool and all but the more I think about it, I just don’t want to move forward with that.” I do that all the time. Most humans in general have a short attention span and keep striving for the next best thing.
      • She did some thinking and while you were enjoyable or fun at the time - e.g., you were paying attention to her at the bar, maybe you shared a drink or two, and it’s fun meeting new people - the attraction simply wasn’t there to keep seeing each other.
      • There’s an EX in her picture that’s there (And probably always will be there) and she can’t let go of him. I got this a lot in college - I’d meet a cool girl, we’d swap numbers, then I’d find out through the grapevine that she was still getting calls from her EX. This is fine and all, but they were daily calls, with weekly visits. Does this sound like an EX or someone without baggage? No.

    Hope you had success over the weekend, I’ll throw up a brief field report tomorrow. I overcame a very interesting obstacle DHV and I think it’s a good lesson to share with the community.

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    Las Vegas Wrap Up

    Ok - I know and I’m sorry, I was away for a while in Vegas for 5 days hitting up the clubs! Wow, what a time! I put myself through a mini boot camp and came away with a fantastic time. I’ve been slacking on going out recently because I’ve been focusing all of my energy on my businesses but here’s a few of the biggest take aways from my Vegas weekend:

    • Nobody cares what kind of car you have, how big your house is, or what you do for a living if your a total douschebag with nothing to talk about and can’t carry a conversation.
    • Not every girl you open (No matter how pretty she is) will keep YOUR attention. That happens a lot (1 or 2 in 5 I’d say) and when it does look them in the eye, wish them luck and prosperity in their life, and walk away and spend time with people you “hit it off” with better.
    • Open sets by smiling, laughing, and having a good time. I opened a set of models at PURE nightclub by looking at the tallest one and my line was “What’s up tall girl can you slam dunk?” and started laughing. Within minutes I was talking to the group and they threw me a Corona on their tab.
    • Don’t hit on anyone, just talk to them. Be honest, sincere, genuine. Don’t run any fake cheesy game, it’s so lame.
    • iPhones are overrated but they are a great prop for showing pictures. I have one and I have a ton of cool, fun pictures of myself and my friends and I doing active things such as hanging out with other girls (Important!), going to baseball games, and pictures of the beach and my neighbors cat (Who I claim to own since I watch the damn thing so much). Show that you are a down to earth, fun guy to be around.
    • NEVER EVER agree or say “Oh, Me too!” after everything they say. Worst rookie mistake ever because it’s way too “Try Hard” and you will come off as her desperate in your attempt at getting her to like you. You shouldn’t care if she doesn’t like you yet because you don’t even know her so who cares.
    • Don’t hover around in 1 spot too long unless you have a reason to do such. Walk around, open up groups of random people, tell guys you like their watches, ask them if they heard the last song the DJ played and who it was because you liked it, heck to anything. Standing around in 1 spot hovering is a very low value thing to do. If you must, go over to the bar and share a laugh with the bartenders and order a drink.
    • I opened, and closed, and absolutely killed it in a set by walking over to a group of girls by the bar ordering drinks, and sitting next to them, waiting to order a drink. I tapped the one on the shoulder and said “Hey, you have heels on and I bet you’ve been walking for hours, take my seat, I can stand and order a drink.” GOLDEN. PURE FUCKING GOLD. Just be honest and play it off if you don’t care if she talks to you or not, and don’t follow it up with “So, what’s your name” that’s cheese. Say something more creative and intriguing.
    • Be different than anyone else she’s ever talked to. How?
      • Read a few books -psychology, astrology, palm reading, anything interesting. Point is not to be cheese about it, but I say something like “I read this book the other day out of curiosity and while I don’t put too much weight into these things, one interesting fact that I read was ________.” Then follow up with “What do you think about that, am I crazy? (Smile)”
      • Current events - every now and then you’ll run across a total hottie in med school or in law school. I found myself a 9/10 PHd student who I was able to talk medicine with because I read a TON of things online. These girls are beautiful and get hit on by every guy in the book, so when you are able to hold a conversation with them at an educated level, BAM - you just made their A-List. Her lips tasted like strawberries.

    That’s about it. Email me with questions; sdromeo (at) gmail.com, I’m here to help.

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    Pick up Podcast

    If you have a chance, head on over to http://www.pickuppodcast.com and listen to podcast #9. I am not sure who this “Guru” is but one thing that I really like about him is how he promotes strong inner game over everything else, and the “everything else” being extreme forms of peacocking, pick up lines, canned routines, and the like. Basically anything that comes off as cheese or lame he’s against, and so am I. I don’t mean to dog mystery or any of those guys, but if you need to walk around like Halloween to interact or be comfortable around women, then there’s something wrong with you internally. Hell, I’ve walked around the casino floor before drunk off my ass in a bathrobe and brought a woman back to my room. If your inner game is strong, you will be strong and you don’t need gimmicks, routines, or pinky-rings, period.

    Another thing I really like is how he can admit that he 1. used to be terrible with women, and can man up and admit to it and 2. he continues to learn and try new things. As guys who practice “pick up” the goal is a better life and to find ways to improve your own happiness, and this guy seems to hit it. This weekend is going to be big for me, I can feel it already. I’m anxious because I’ve been sick for 2 weeks, and I am finally starting to get better and I am really craving the interaction and socialization.

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